Some Enchanted Evening

Greetings Hairballers,

Just a little something from my trip to the drug store.

Some Enchanted Evening©

         FMHorner

Leaving the drug store,

I noticed a used condom

lying in the parking lot--

a most unromantic spot.

did they paused to whisper

tender words or just have at it?

were they too cheap or

hurried to get a room?

one thing we know--

they were unconcerned about

the environment--

the condom was not recycled

Hairballs,

f

OMG OF THE WEEK

The next time you’re watching a sporting event and see a big patriotic military display, know that your tax dollars paid for it.  The Defense Department is paying millions of dollars to teams to place these exhibitions (advertisements/recruitment tools) at their games. 

This link is only football but most other sports franchises, golf, NASCAR and some high school teams are being paid to parade the troops as well.

For those you who don’t watch sports, your tax dollars are paying anyway.

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2015/05/11/14-nfl-teams-took-tax-dollars-for-patriotic-pregame-displays/

That’s a hairball,

f

The Little Whites

Greetings Hairballers,

Many things we’re told by friends, acquaintances and politicians are such obviously made up crap that I wonder if we respect each other at all.

The Little Whites©

         FMHorner

Lies--those small justifications we use to blow people off.  Friends don’t respect us and politicians think we’re a joke.  The Little Whites have become a way of life.

Cliché alert--

An excuse for everything and for everything an excuse--The cable company didn’t lose your messages, the dog didn’t eat your homework, you weren’t off accepting the Nobel Prize and God did not write the constitution--everyone knows that was Aardvark the Great and if you believe that, you can buy a bridge for $9.95.

A plague of hairballs,

f

THE CABLE COMPANY RECORDING

Greetings Hairballers,

Had to call Bright House, my cable provider, to cancel an appointment.  Following is my conversation with their recording.

THE CABLE COMPANY RECORDING

IRL (Idiot Recording Lady)

M (Me)

IRL:  Hello.  Are you calling from a phone associated with your account?  Say Yes or No.

M:     Yes

IRL:  Got it.

IRL:  I see you have an appointment for tomorrow between 6 and 8. 

         What would you like to do?  Say reschedule, confirm or cancel.

M:     Cancel

IRL:   Okay, I’ll cancel that for you.

IRL:  Now in a few words, tell me why you are calling.

M:     To cancel my appointment.

IRL:   I don’t understand.

M:     Do I get fries with that?

SRL:  I don’t understand.

M:     Do these slacks come in blue?

IRL:   I don’t understand.

M:     Out, out damned spot

IRL:   I don’t understand

M:     &%!$#*&@!

IRL:  I don’t understand

M:     Maybe I’ll cancel my account and go with Verizon.

IRL:   One Moment while I transfer you to a representative.

M:     You understood that.

Hairballs,

f

WHATSAMADDAU

Greetings Hairballers,

Everything and everyone seems crazy lately.  People spending energy being against rather than for.  So many have snapped.

To which I say:

WHATSAMADDAU!

Hairballs to them,

f

LISTENING TO REPLY

Greetings Hairballers,

Things have been a bit strange and overly complicated lately.  Here’s a little “some of it.”

LISTENING TO REPLY©

FM Horner

We don’t listen to hear,

we plan our replies

our conversations convoluted,

everyone talking at once,

all competing for attention

then the gossips pass it on

and you hear, fourth hand,

weeks later, that you joined

the Knights of Columbus

when you said yoga group

or that you’re taking

pork barbeque to a

vegetarian dinner

Oy

Oh, the hairballs of it all.

f