LOOK WHAT YOUSE DID

Greetings Hairballers,

Seems I have some sort of allergy related thing, due to the lack of winter this year in Flori-duh.  We did have winter for about 20 minutes one night while I was asleep.  Not that I wish to freeze but there are a couple of outfits that are hanging in the closet going out of style and I’d like to wear them.

Long way to say I’m not up to politician bashing today.  Instead I’ll relate a story told by my former neighbor in DC after a weekend gambling in Atlantic City. Hope you enjoy.

LOOK WHAT YOUSE DID©

            FM Horner

I’m in Atlantic City

gambling and losing big

the cards are wrong

the dice are upside down

now I’m getting depressed

and feeling sorry for myself

so, I go outside

perhaps some air will do me good

walk the boardwalk

shake the mood away

hungry, food will surely help

a slice of pizza should do the trick

gooey cheese and tomato sauce

comfort food for the impatient

just then a gull swoops down

and rips it from my hand

things are not looking up

they’re looking down

the seagull drops his stash

much too heavy on the fly

the pizza hits the beach

sauce side down, of course

now no use to anyone at all

I shake my head and sigh

look what youse did

a passerby remarks

pointing to the jumble at my feet

the pizza lies there crust side up

sauce splayed in the sand

cheese oozing out the side

somehow today it’s all my fault

nothing I do is right

time to pack it in, go home

my score is oh for three

For Ben’s memories of a bad day.

Hairballs to all.

f

OMG OF THE WEEK

Greetings Hairballers,

Heard on the news last night that a prisoner, in a work release program, operating as a telemarketer, escaped.

So not only are these calls the telemarketers from hell, some of them are criminals in the literal sense.  Or forced labor, which I suppose beats the old chain gang.

If I had to work as a telemarketer and take all that abuse, I’d probably try to escape as well. Cruel and unusual punishment for the prisoners--but they have our phone numbers!

Hairballs,

f

UNCERTAINTIES

Greeting Hairballers,

Trying to stay centered is a challenge in these times of rapid change. One minute the ground is solid, the next like sand being pulled out to sea--friends disappearing, moving or dying. That business on the corner just isn’t there any more.  Nothing is quite what it was. We are our own life preservers.

Here, a small offering on our uncertainties.

UNCERTAINTIES©

         FMHorner

the uncertainties of life

weigh upon us

spinning in circles

which way to go?

what will work?

will anything?

standing still

looking around

not moving forward

or back

striving for balance

holding our centers

here in the present

the past is gone

the future yet to be

Next week, politicians—the cheap plastic prize at the bottom on the cereal box.

 Hairballs for now.

f

DUMB BASTARD AWARD FOR JANUARY

Greeting Hairballers,

It's the beginning of the month and time for last month's Dumb Bastard Award.

This was a no brainer and the first double award.

A pastor (pretending to represent God) left a note, instead of a tip at an Applebee’s saying, “I give 10% to God, why should I give you 18%?"  Sorry I don't have a cheap bastard award.

The waitress posted it on Reddit.  Applebee’s fired the waitress.

What is wrong with this picture?  They should have given her employee of the month and a bonus.  Wait staff exists on tips and have to pay taxes on a designated amount whether they get it or not. Let’s hope this waitress gets a better job at a “real” restaurant.

The award for January goes to:  Applebee’s and the pastor.

Hairballs to both!