Sunday, November 18, 2012

MEANWHILE BACK AT THE RANCH

Greetings Hairballers,

This week the Kindle and self-publishing.


I love my Kindle.  As an avid reader, what joy to read an ebook on a light-weight device that allows me to look-up definitions as I go.  My “to be read” list is so long, I wonder if I’ll ever catch up.  I’m a book alcoholic—I confess.

But the Kindlesphere has spawned a Frankenstein monster of self-important, self-published people (I won’t use the term author because it doesn’t apply), who think it’s a get rich quick device and insult the readers.

If you’re an indie author, publishing on Kindle, don’t get your knickers in a twist.  I’m not singling anyone out.  There have been some outstanding indie books published on the K and I don’t know how Simon and Shuster didn’t grab them up. 

When I get a cliché ridden dog, drowning in adverbs, I dump it.  If it was free, no big deal; however, when I had to pay, I know I’ve been ripped off.

Note to self:  Always read the preview before purchasing.  If an author doesn’t get you by the first three pages, you’re probably not going to like the rest. 

It’s obvious that many write “books,” but have never read one.  They think all “authors” are rich, live in mansions and drive Jaguars. The bucks roll in. Wrong.  It’s hard work—draft after draft.

Here’s my take on what you might get, if you aren’t careful.  Hope it gives you a laugh.

Meanwhile Back at the Ranch©

FMHorner

I cling to the cliché
like misery loves company
go wallow in it,
(I said boldly)

it’s quite amusing
to write this junk,
then sell it,
(I sighed triumphantly)

words onto the page
out of my head
gone for good.
(I said, heaving a sigh of satisfaction)

it’s been said
it was a dark and
stormy night
(good grief)

meanwhile
back at the ranch
(I had to say it)
the drama continues

he sighed
she gasped
he growled
they whimpered

and readers,
like cash machines,
will pay for this
but only once

and so it is

 Hairballs to all

next week - Schadenfreude, I hope.





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