SANTA--A BLATANT CANARD

Greetings Hairballers,

It’s that time of year again--the season of controversy.

The recent dust up over the color of Santa got me thinking.  Santa is a mythical character along with his sidekicks, the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy.  They don’t exist, we made them up, so why the big deal?

Perhaps the question needs not to be the color of Santa, but why are we lying to children in the first place, only to burst their fantasy bubble when they reach a certain age?

Let me say here that I love Christmas trees and twinkle lights.  It’s like being in a Harry Potter book.  The smell of pine as we approach the Winter Solstice and all that good stuff.

However,

Is Santa a capricious, mean spirit, who gives one kid Bose speakers, another an I Pad and yet another a pair of tube sox?  Or is he the fall guy in case you don’t have enough money or screw up?   Yea, blame it on Santa like you fault the phone company when you pretend you haven’t gotten messages or any other little white lie excuses. We’ve all been there.  For about a month out of every year, parents put a guilt trip on their kids--“you better behave or Santa will know.”

Enough already.  It’s only my opinion, but here’s my take…

SANTA--A BLATANT CANARD©

         FMHorner

Hey you, fat man in the tacky red suit,

you think an obese pipe smoker

is a good role model for kids?

how about that ruddy complexion?

is that from the wind or

the half-gallon of Jack under the seat?

and your designated drunk driver,

Rudolph, with the red nose--

no wonder you crash onto rooftops

we made you up

to control our kids

and to take the blame

if we screwed up

and bought the wrong gifts

or didn’t have the dough

we just say that

Santa’s the jerk,

who stiffed you

it doesn’t matter

what color you are,

you’re not real

you’re the color we make you.

Holiday Hairballs to all.  It’s time to pull that bottle of Jack out from under my chair.

f