Just Another Day

Greetings Hairballers,

Do I hear the clatter of wire coat hangers and the rattle of Billy clubs coming from North Carolina?  I keep expecting their citizens to rise up with pitch forks but then, they voted in these suppressionists.  Is there anyway we can cut out Asheville and move it to Maryland?

Just Another Day©

         FMHorner

Just another day

in the 14^th Century

there in North Carolina

good ole boys

carrin’ one on the hip,*

to make ‘em feel big

struttin’ tall

at the Moose Lodge

as they sidle up to the bar

voter suppression’s

gotta hold

like a coyote on a rabbit

No I.D.?

well ain’t that

too bad

just get along then

we don’t hold with

disturbin’ the peace

the women left at home

to cook and watch the kids,

or have their hair lacquered at the spa

the abomination

of abortion,

a thing of the past

try abstinence

ladies and

he’ll seek elsewhere

if your man won’t

stand up for you,

why should you lie down for him!

_________

*This from Wikipedia:  The revolver was invented in 1836 by Colt Paterson.  The Chinese invented firearms in the 14^th Century, five centuries after they invented gunpowder in the 9^th.

This is beginning to sound like a baseball game.  I have no idea what the Chinese did with the gunpowder between the 9^th and 14^th, maybe firecrackers because they invented those too.

Come back next Sunday for the August Dumb Bastard Award.

‘til then, happy hairballs

f

MOP FIRES IN FLORIDA

Hey Hairballers,

Thought you might enjoy this comment I received from whiskysteps of cuffedpantspress on the latest OMG.

Mop fires in Florida are quite common--depending upon where u place it, dictates the level of potential damage. If you leave your mop in your kitchen prior to your 4-week vacation in France, chances are when u return a large majority of your dwelling will be rubble. If u conceal your mop down by the ocean in a secluded location, chances are minimal damage will occur with the exception of the potential for a large oil spill occurring while u are away, then u must accept responsibility for setting the ocean on fire.  Precaution on the safe side:  DONT MOP. This little tidbit of help was brought to u by CUFFEDPANTSPRESS. 

Special Note:

The Follow by Email is now working.  I don’t know why it is or why it wasn’t.  If you wish to receive the Gazette, sign up by typing your email address in the marked space, which is in first notation on the upper right side of the blog, hit submit and follow the instructions.  I will keep using the email list through September 1, and also post of Facebook and Google Plus.  It’s free.

I appreciate all my readers.

Hairballs,

f

OMG OF THE WEEK

Greeting Hairballers,

As many of you know, I’m trying to decide whether to stay here at Marvin Gardens or move.  Have until the end of the month to do this because they require a two-month notice.

As part of this exercise, I’ve been reading apartment ads and reviews.  The reviews mostly go from, “great place, efficient staff,” to “dirt pit, full of roaches.”  Last night one review had me laughing until tears rolled down my cheeks.  Here it is:

“Don’t recommend this place.  I left my mop outside my door one day and someone set it on fire.”

It does beg the larger question.  Is the water in St. Petersburg so toxic it can be set on fire?

Hairballs indeed,

f

OMG OF THE WEEK

Hello Hairballers

You are going to love this one I just heard on ABC News.

A luxury high rise (47 floors) in Benidorm, Spain, has been completed with a few flaws.

The first 20 floors were completed in 2007, but then the builders ran into municipal problems.  Four years later, a new contractor was hired and the building completed--except--the new crew was using a temporary outside elevator and the architect failed to include a real elevator for the last 27 floors.

35% of the apartments have already been sold--let’s hope on lower floors.

This makes all the mistakes I’ve made in my life pale by comparison.

Do you think they can get a deal on some hot air balloons?

Yes, they are in the running for Dumb Bastard of the Year. Maybe I should start a new one for the century.

Here’s a link.

http://cdn2.idesigntimes.com/articles/7105/20130809/spanish-skyscraper-without-elevator-intempo-47-story-benidorm-spain-high-rise-lift.htm

Snorting hairballs,

f

FALLEN HEROES©

Greeting Hairballers,

Considered an OMG but that didn’t seem enough.

First let me say I am against PEDs in all sports.

Right now, I feel as though I have been sucked into the vortex of a time machine that has taken me back to a period that bounces between the Salem Witch Trails and the McCarthy Era.   In the past, I have called for Major League Baseball to clean up its act and keep it out of the courts.  Now they have interrogated players, paid witnesses, cut deals and metaphorically paraded the “guilty” in chains through the streets.  It’s sad to realize that if you work on Wall Street and cheat, you get a bonus and if you do the same in sports, you get suspended.  Yes, penalties were warranted but when a player is singled out for extraordinarily harsh treatment because powers to be wish to make an example, they don’t like him or he gets paid too much, I get queasy.

I may lose some friends and have been screamed at by casual observers of baseball because of my insistence that no one is more equal than another.  I hope they enjoyed their orgasm of schadenfraude.  Me?  I am eclipsed by sorrow.  

FALLEN HEROES©

         FMHorner             

faded dreams and

glory lost

disillusioned and confused

in the ethers,

an echo of angry voices

dissolves to silence

all is dark

the unraveling

complete

honor eclipsed

by promises not kept

faith is cast aside

legacies,

forever marred

by ignominious behavior,

now falling stars

that leave a scar in indigo

and then are gone

there is no triumph

in fallen heroes

Hairballs and so be it.

f