SCHADENFREUDE

Greetings Hairballers,

SCHADENFREUDE 

(Satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune)

We’re all guilty to some degree whether it’s TV news, reality shows, sports, politics (I will not go there, I will not go there, I will not go there) or slowing down to see a wreck on the highway.

How often have you laughed while watching members of the Taiwanese parliament hit each other with chairs?  That begs the question, is the furniture in our Congress bolted to the floor? There are always cream pies, but that’s been done at the News of the World phone hacking hearings.

Schadenfreude has become our mildly, pleasing addiction.  We sit in our living rooms, all cozy and safe, while pointing our fingers and thinking, “look what youse did.”

Here’s a hairball, hacked up for your enjoyment.

Schadenfreude©

         FMHorner

Ah the joy of you done wrong,

makes our hearts beat a little faster

as we watch in shock and fascination

you got caught, found out

now doin’ the walk of shame

on the TV news, 24 hours a day

did you hear about

the general, the movie star,

the congressman, the quarterback?

didn’t keep it in his pants

then took a picture

and twittered it to some gal

or drove her car into a deli

while drinkin’ wine

and snortin’ cocaine

her hair was a mess

must be lettin’ herself go

with all that fast livin’

what’s the world comin’ to

we say and shake our heads,

slowing down to see the wreck

it takes two sides,

spectators and players,

in the great game of Schadenfreude

did you hear?

they’re jumpin’ off the fiscal cliff,

what channel is it on?

'til next week, hairballs to all,

f

MEANWHILE BACK AT THE RANCH

Greetings Hairballers,

This week the Kindle and self-publishing.

I love my Kindle.  As an avid reader, what joy to read an ebook on a light-weight device that allows me to look-up definitions as I go.  My “to be read” list is so long, I wonder if I’ll ever catch up.  I’m a book alcoholic—I confess.

But the Kindlesphere has spawned a Frankenstein monster of self-important, self-published people (I won’t use the term author because it doesn’t apply), who think it’s a get rich quick device and insult the readers.

If you’re an indie author, publishing on Kindle, don’t get your knickers in a twist.  I’m not singling anyone out.  There have been some outstanding indie books published on the K and I don’t know how Simon and Shuster didn’t grab them up. 

When I get a cliché ridden dog, drowning in adverbs, I dump it.  If it was free, no big deal; however, when I had to pay, I know I’ve been ripped off.

Note to self:  Always read the preview before purchasing.  If an author doesn’t get you by the first three pages, you’re probably not going to like the rest. 

It’s obvious that many write “books,” but have never read one.  They think all “authors” are rich, live in mansions and drive Jaguars. The bucks roll in. Wrong.  It’s hard work—draft after draft.

Here’s my take on what you might get, if you aren’t careful.  Hope it gives you a laugh.

Meanwhile Back at the Ranch©

FMHorner

I cling to the cliché

like misery loves company

go wallow in it,

(I said boldly)

it’s quite amusing

to write this junk,

then sell it,

(I sighed triumphantly)

words onto the page

out of my head

gone for good.

(I said, heaving a sigh of satisfaction)

it’s been said

it was a dark and

stormy night

(good grief)

meanwhile

back at the ranch

(I had to say it)

the drama continues

he sighed

she gasped

he growled

they whimpered

and readers,

like cash machines,

will pay for this

but only once

and so it is

 Hairballs to all

next week - Schadenfreude, I hope.