SO MUCH FOR YOU, NANCY DREW

Greetings Hairballers,

Hockey season is over and I’m spending an inordinate amount of time contemplating the useless and trivial.  The topic of the moment is Nancy Drew.  Women, especially, will remember those books we read as kids.  I gobbled them up around age 10.  Dad even expressed concern that I was reading “hard boiled” mysteries until Mom told him to read one.  His comment:  “not hard boiled, but thin, very thin.”

SO MUCH FOR YOU, NANCY DREW©

         FM Horner

Never a bad hair day

your blonde pageboy sat,

like a helmet upon your head,

no errant chunks sticking out like wings,

a 90-mile an hour wind would not have disturbed it

were you a republican?

you drove a convertible, a gift from your Dad,

the widowed lawyer,

while every other teenager in the 50s

begged to borrow their parents’ car

then filled it with all of their friends

to cruise the parking lot at Bob’s Big Boy,

you drove around with your boyfriend

in the passenger seat,

that guy with the shinny straight teeth,

perfect clothes and perfect manners--

and absolutely no sex drive at all,

unless it was off the page were the reader didn’t go

back to your Dad, the widowed single parent,

you never mentioned your Mother

did you not ever wonder what she was like,

yearn to talk to her about “girl” things,

or did you think she existed only to produce you?

Okay, job well done I’m outta here! Right.

you didn’t change your clothes 17 times

before going out the door

or scream at the mirror because

your butt was too big and your boobs to small

or curse the world because you didn’t live

in France or the West Village

Nancy Drew, you had no flaws,

to me now, you aren’t interesting,

but my 10-year old mind loved

reading those books and seeing

you solve mysteries

that the bumbling police couldn’t figure out

Hairballs for now,

f

OMG OF THE WEEK

President Obama gave a speech today, then Speaker Boner--oops--Boehner went on TV to say that the American people aren’t interested in speeches--they want jobs.

If the Speaker and his fellow goopers truly believe this, or care, why are they spending most of their time interfering with vaginas?  Do they think we women are hiding the jobs up there?  If that were true, I’d pull out a well-paying one for myself. 

My wish is that someone would invent a mechanism that would set off all the car alarms in the world every time a woman is subjected to an unnecessary ultrasound or is forced by law to have some foreign object stuck up her.  Basically, I want these men to leave us alone.  Why are they so afraid of women?

In other news, the British royals have named their little baby Prince George.  I was hoping for Elvis.

Hacking up hairballs,

f

OMG OF THE WEEK

This is a story of a Mother’s love gone over the top.

Several people were indicted in Romania for the theft of paintings--Picasso, Matisse, Monet and others--from the Kunsthal Museum in Rotterdam.

The Mother of one is alleged to have burned the paintings in her stove.  Thinking--no evidence, no crime.

Officials are sifting through the ashes to determine if this is so.  Let’s hope she actually stuck them in the chicken coop.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/19/world/europe/romania-stolen-art-probe/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

Holy hairballs!

f

WHO IS THIS I?

Hairball Gazette July 14, 2013

Greetings Hairballers and Happy Bastille Day,

Grinding on the reinvention of me, yet again.  You’d think by this time I’d have figured it out or be happy that I had one reasonably successful career.  I’m not ready to sit on the plateau and contemplate my navel.

I feel like I’ve lived many life times in this one existence.  All those people are me and what makes up the person called Ferne who lives today.

Perhaps many of you are in this same place.  Courage my friends, I’m moving on because life is meant to be an adventure.  More to come…

Last week, while sitting on the floor--yes, the cat took my chair--this came out.

Who Is This I? ©

         FMHorner

who is this I

that sits upon the deck

and dreams of                               

greener pastures?                         

is that I prepared to

leap into the void

and capture the

illusion at rainbow’s end?

or will that I

remain forever trapped

in fantasies  

that could have lived,

as each

drifts away

like fallen leaves

blown by the wind?

Hairballs to all the old stuff,

f

OMG OF THE WEEK

The Texas legislature allows people to carry guns but are confiscating tampons and max pads--I assume not the used ones.

They don't allow anything that can be thrown at legislators. Guess it's all right if someone is able to shoot them.

Once again, it's heartening to know that all is well with the world.

Here's a link to the story.

http://maddowblog.msnbc.com/_news/2013/07/12/19441556-only-a-good-guy-with-a-tampon-can-stop-a-bad-guy-with-a-tampon?lite

Don't carry a tampon in your holster ladies.

I now know why I write this blog.

Hairballs at least....
f

OMG OF THE WEEK

Greetings Hairballers,

Just heard on ABC Actions News that the US State Department paid out over $630K for a campaign to get Facebook fans.

This is unbelievable but the questions is:  Why do they care?

Here's a link to the story:

http://www.ibtimes.com/us-state-department-facebook-likes-dos-spent-630000-buying-fans-1334457#

Hairballs indeed,
f