Things Overheard

Greetings Hairballers,

Privacy is a thing of the past.  Some live with the illusion, others don’t care.

Those with children and pets know they haven't been to the bathroom alone in years.

We have workstations that partition us off like cattle in pens, yet allow every conversation to resonate around the room.

We talk on cell phones in public to make us seem important or feel less lonely as we force our inane banter on those unlucky enough to answer the ring, plus everyone within 50 yards.  Who needs jackhammers, we are the noise pollution.

Now, it seems, folks even try on clothes in packs.

The past couple of weeks, I’ve begun noticing what they're saying so here we go.

Things Overheard©

         FMHorner

in the dressing room at Target,

yes, it’s come to that,

trying on yoga pants

in sizes too big and too small

in the booth to my right

a young woman and her boyfriend,

should I have invited a friend?

brought a bottle of wine and some cheese?

“pull it up a little further,” he said,

“I want to get some pictures,”

fool, I thought, magazines pay

for that sort of thing and you’re giving it away

I smile to myself and

try to turn a laugh into a cough

while gathering up my rejects,

it’s not my day to shop

then from the other side,

a woman shouts,

“it’s late, I have to leave

and go the jail house,”

days later, in another dressing room,

in a high tone kinda place

like where Sara Palin shopped

on the Republican National Committee’s dime,

I over heard, a woman exclaim,

“that jerk hasn’t sent my alimony check and

I charged a week at the spa

plus cellulite cream and make up

how does he expect me to live?

and, you should see that bimbo

he’s dating—young enough to be his daughter

with bazooms out to here,”

off to Barnes & Noble

where a man in the science fiction aisle

was selling vitamin supplements

on his cell phone, (makes you wonder about vitamins)

while over in the new age section,

a real estate agent

was loudly closing a deal

while checking her horoscope (same goes for real estate)

I’m happily out of the main stream

yet my cell phone’s tucked in my purse

in case I get the call

telling me I’ve won a Nobel Prize

then, you’re gonna hear noise!

Hairballs,

f